Quick Synopsis

New York Times bestselling author Lara Love Hardin recounts her slide from soccer mom to opioid addict to jailhouse shot-caller and her unlikely comeback as a highly successful ghostwriter in this harrowing, hilarious, no-holds-barred memoir.

Publisher’s Synopsis

No one expects the police to knock on the million-dollar, two-story home of the perfect cul-de-sac housewife. But soccer mom Lara Love Hardin has been hiding a shady secret: she is funding her heroin addiction by stealing her neighbors’ credit cards.

Lara is convicted of thirty-two felonies and becomes inmate S32179. She learns that jail is a class system with a power structure that is somewhere between an adolescent sleepover party and Lord of the Flies. Furniture is made from tampon boxes and Snickers bars are currency. But Lara quickly finds the rules and brings love and healing to her fellow inmates as she climbs the social ladder to become the “shot caller,” showing that jailhouse politics aren’t that different from the PTA meetings she used to attend.

When she’s released, she reinvents herself as a ghostwriter. Now, she’s legally co-opting other people’s identities and getting to meet Oprah, meditate with The Dalai Lama, and have dinner with Archbishop Desmond Tutu. But the shadow of her past follows her. Shame is a poison worse than heroin—there is no way to detox. Lara must learn how to forgive herself and others, navigate life as a felon on probation, prove to herself that she is more good than bad, and much more.

The Many Lives of Mama Love is a heartbreaking and tender journey from shame to redemption, despite a system that makes it almost impossible for us to move beyond the worst thing we have ever done.

Book Review

The Many Lives of Mama Love is a memoir about one educated white woman’s journey from opioid-using soccer mom to jail to becoming a New York Times bestselling ghostwriter.

At the time I finished reading The Many Lives of Mama Love, I rated the book 3.5 stars. However, the more I thought about the narrative and Lara Love Hardin’s self-depiction, the more I realized how problematic this memoir really is.

I found the first third of the book by far the most interesting. After this point, the story becomes less and less compelling and increasingly repetitive. For a memoir, The Many Lives of Mama Love has a prodigious lack of depth and introspection. Hardin fails to explore the implications or causes of events. For example, she does not list all the crimes with which she was charged. Furthermore, she does not do any deep dives into the emotional aspects of her story nor allow herself to be vulnerable. In the end, I was unsure how Hardin’s experiences actually impacted her. She states that she is a bad person, but she in no way convinced me she actually thinks that about herself.

These issues are further exacerbated by Hardin’s writing. The prose is a simple recounting of events that reminded me more of a regional newspaper than a book. In addition, Hardin jumps through time from chapter to chapter without specifying the length of time that passed. I hoped that this memoir would give me a firsthand account of how addiction feels and directly affects someone’s actions. But Hardin’s failure to describe emotions and motivations means readers are left with no greater understanding.

While reading, I quickly recognized that Hardin failed to address her privilege. I struggled with the fact Hardin skips over all of the blatant advantages she was given as an educated white woman, both within and outside the (in)justice system. On top of this seemingly lack of recognition for her privilege, the narrative borders on white saviorism at times.

In the end, the memoir felt like an attempt by Hardin to recast herself as the hero of her story. While she says she is a bad person, it is a laughable utterance amid pages and pages that attempt to depict her otherwise. Hardin worked hard to portray herself as a caring and compassionate mother. Although she stole from friends and family to get high, Hardin emphasizes how this actually was an altruistic attempt to ensure her children did not go hungry (despite the majority of her money going towards drugs). (Note: I do have compassion for those with drug use disorders, but Hardin failed to truly take responsibility for her actions.) Furthermore, Hardin cherry-picked details and events in a manner that bordered on manipulative. For instance, she repeatedly blamed her childhood trauma for her addiction but never actually specified what happened or how to led to her need to escape into a high. For me, it felt like another convenient scapegoat. I could prattle on, but you likely get the picture.

Overall, The Many Lives of Mama Love is a memoir that fails to make an overarching statement. The only inspiring aspect of this book is how well Hardin fell upwards after jail, retained her massive privilege, and continues to be successful. If you love stories where white women toot their own horn, have I found the book for you! Otherwise, I do not recommend this one.

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