Quick Synopsis

Unorthodox is the bestselling memoir of a young Jewish woman’s escape from a religious sect, in the tradition of Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s Infidel and Carolyn Jessop’s Escape, featuring a new epilogue by the author.

Publisher’s Synopsis

As a member of the strictly religious Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism, Deborah Feldman grew up under a code of relentlessly enforced customs governing everything from what she could wear and to whom she could speak to what she was allowed to read. Yet in spite of her repressive upbringing, Deborah grew into an independent-minded young woman whose stolen moments reading about the empowered literary characters of Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott helped her to imagine an alternative way of life among the skyscrapers of Manhattan. Trapped as a teenager in a sexually and emotionally dysfunctional marriage to a man she barely knew, the tension between Deborah’s desires and her responsibilities as a good Satmar girl grew more explosive until she gave birth at nineteen and realized that, regardless of the obstacles, she would have to forge a path—for herself and her son—to happiness and freedom.

Remarkable and fascinating, this “sensitive and memorable coming-of-age story” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) is one you won’t be able to put down.

Book Review

Prior to reading Unorthodox, I knew broad strokes about the Satmar Hasidic community having lived in multiple places with Hasidic sects (New York and Maryland). I also had some prior knowledge from reading investigative reporting about the Williamsburg and Boro Park communities, particularly in relation to their schools and anti-vaccination stance, and from my spouse who works at a Jewish university.

Unorthodox is a coming-of-age memoir about growing up female in the Satmar Hasidic Jewish sect in New York. Deborah Feldman’s story is not a typical one. Coming from a broken home and being raised by grandparents, Deborah was given more freedom than typical of a Hasidic upbringing. Still, she follows religious traditions and community expectations until she leaves Williamsburg. Already questioning her faith, Deborah’s move upstate enables her to push boundaries until she decides to leave the Hasidic community.

Apparently, the book’s publication was controversial and scandalous, not only because it exposed parts of a very insular community. Others in the Williamsburg Satmar Hasidic community challenged some of Deborah’s accounts. Regardless, I took this memoir at its word. Perhaps some of what Deborah recounted was viewed differently by others, but this is her story as she perceived it with some edits for the privacy of others.

I was surprised how gripping I found Unorthodox. My spouse can attest that I gasped and exclaimed aloud while reading. While some of the book’s events are shocking and horrifying, I think Feldman’s writing was engaging and riveting.

Feldman does an excellent job painting her world with its beliefs, customs, social structure, and isolation. The shame she felt as a child easily transcends the page as does her other feelings. Her writing is rich and descriptive in a manner that immerses you in her world. I chose to listen to Unorthodox as an audiobook and found that story really lent itself to this form. The narration enabled me to embodied Deborah’s perspective as it highlighted her robust storytelling skills.

What really stood out to me was Deborah’s traumatic experiences and those shared with other Hasidic women. Having lived near and learned a bit about the Hasidic community, I was aware that it is a very patriarchal society that values women almost exclusively as mothers. But I had no idea just how terrible it could be (and I acknowledge that not all of Deborah’s experiences were common).

The reason I did not rate Unorthodox higher is largely do to the last quarter of the book. Ostensibly, this memoir is supposed to be about Deborah’s escape from her community. Yet, we are told little of how it progresses. During this section, readers are informed about Deborah pushing boundaries and embracing goyish customs. However, Deborah never shares her thoughts or seemingly any introspection. I know that she wrote this memoir relatively soon after these events occurred, and so they may have been more difficult to write about. However, it really left me grasping to understand just how she left the community.

I am actually glad that I waited to read Unorthodox until now. Two years ago, a new edition of the book was published with an epilogue that provided updates. This new edition provides some of the closure I had hoped for in the ending. Yet, I still feel like major events, feelings, and actions were skimmed over.

Overall, I enjoyed Unorthodox and found it to be a very enthralling memoir. I acknowledge that some of the events may have been exaggerations, but I do not believe this hard my reading experience. I do recommend this memoir, especially for its rapt storytelling.

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