Quick Synopsis

This profoundly intimate memoir about marriage, friendship, and the power of human connection tells the story of one woman’s experience of joining a community of army wives after leaving her New York City job.

Publisher’s Synopsis

When her new husband joins an elite Army unit, Simone Gorrindo is uprooted from New York City and dropped into Columbus, Georgia. With her husband frequently deployed, Simone is left to find her place in this new world, alone—until she meets the wives.

Gorrindo gives us an intimate look into the inner lives of a remarkable group of women and a tender, unflinching portrait of a marriage. A love story, an unforgettable coming-of-age tale, and a bracing tour of the intractable divisions that plague our country today, The Wives offers a rare and powerful gift: a hopeful stitch in the fabric of a torn America.

Book Review

The Wives caught my eye because most of what I know about military life I learned from the Lifetime show Army Wives. When I read that the author and her spouse originally lived in NYC, I assumed that they are politically liberal, unlike a majority of military families. As a result, my interest was piqued trying (and failing) to imagine one of my friends here in the city joining the military.

The Wives is an intriguing look into the lives of military (specifically Army) wives – the ones left behind and who arguably sacrifice the most. After 9/11, Simone Gorrindo’s boyfriend decides to join the Army, asking her to marry him and accompany him in his move to Georgia. To do so, Gorrindo leaves her job and life behind to find her place in a new world alone.

The Wives is a raw and honest look at being a military spouse. Gorrindo feels like an outside among the wives, as an older, college educated woman. But she eventually opens up to the other women who are undergoing the same experience and finds a sisterhood. Gorrindo chronicles this journey of feeling alone in a strange place and then needing to rely on strangers for companionship, comfort, and guidance. I found the narrative especially poignant as Gorrindo details her experience with having a spouse repeatedly deploy overseas.

However, the book does not solely focus on “the wives” and their relationships. Instead, it becomes part coming-of-age story as Gorrindo looses her identity, tries to find herself, and finally accepts where and who she is. Part of this narrative is dedicated to Gorrindo’s exploration of her own morality and ethos. She questions what it means to love someone whose values and beliefs differ from your own. Gorrindo grows over the book’s course as she comes to terms with the sacrifices she made for love, despite not fully believing in the cause for which she sacrificed her ambition, comfort, and normalcy.

While I found portions of the book intriguing, I did not find it compelling overall due to the lack of narrative structure and a thesis. I do not think that The Wives has a solid, unifying storyline. Instead, it seemed like Gorrindo just included everything that seemed significant to her, frequently diverging from what was the overarching narrative at the time. She often would mention a detail or event and then simply set it aside and never revisit it, leaving readers without a fully understanding or conclusion. In addition, I question what Gorrindo wanted readers to take away from the book. Similarly, it is unclear to me who the intended audience for this memoir is.

Although Gorrindo’s prose is solid and her characterizations compelling, the memoir feels like she holds back a vital component. Gorrindo never communicates the true depth of her emotions. There also appeared to be details left out both accidentally and intentionally. I struggled a bit with Gorrindo’s flat, irritated tone throughout the book. This translated to her sounding almost whiny as she faced the typical ups and downs of ordinary life. Furthermore, there is a pervasive sense of condescension towards the other wives, particularly those of enlisted men.

On top of it all, I did not find Gorrindo’s story groundbreaking or novel. I never want to diminish an author’s experiences or write them off as trivial. However, I was more interested in the other wives and the group’s dynamic. I think if the narrative was more cohesive and directed, The Wives would have been a stronger book that resonated with a broader audience.

Overall, The Wives is an interesting look at the life of military spouses and their support networks. However, the books does not rise to the level of compelling due to deviations from “the wives.”

Note: The memoir includes a lot of discussion regarding the author’s politics.

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